dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
