I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Randomize
