She's JV to your varsity
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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