Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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