Pappa wants mamma naked
Duck Duck Cougar?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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