Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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