i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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