Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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