im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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