paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
