i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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