Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize