what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
