why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I pour the whiskey from now on
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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