Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Randomize
