Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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