Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
