guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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