She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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