All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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