I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
