Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
