I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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