bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize