ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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