doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
