You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
