How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
