oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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