I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
