Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
