I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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