I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
