I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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