Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
