if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
