I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
