he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
How external is "for external use only"?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
