the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
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