Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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