He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
