I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
