am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
