apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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