wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
