I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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