do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize