Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I could have mohawked her pubes.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We got so high we made milksteak
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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