I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
