i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
