Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
