I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize