I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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