I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
