i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
