yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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