The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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