there was a trapeze. enough said
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What drink are we having for lunch?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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