I want to stick my p in your. b.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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