do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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