why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
